Tobie here: Hello oh sweet 3rd trimester. I’m so glad to finally meet you! Hooray!! So….I’m kinda cranky this morning (Eric here: I can confirm said crankiness) despite being thrilled that today marks the 3rd trimester. Why you ask when everything seems peachy? I’m totally, completely sleep deprived. What the heck is going on lately? I think back to two weeks ago…we were sleeping pretty good. There were even some nights that Eric did the midnight feeds and I could get 8+ hours a night. What happened between then and now?
I don’t know. Could be a multitude of things. Both babies are teething. Paige cut her top left front tooth and I can see her top front right tooth right behind it. Cole is jumping ahead (the kid can’t do anything in order) and cut his left eye tooth on top and I can see his right top eye tooth coming in too. So my sad sob story is that both babies who we used to wake up to feed around midnight are now waking up at least 3 times EACH every night. Yes…that’s a total of about 6 times we have to get up now. Even if I don’t get up to take care of them (which most of the time it seems I get to their room before Eric) (Eric here: What can I say, I’m slow!) …I still wake up because I hear them crying. I am a very, very light sleeper. I think it started when they came home from the NICU. I was always listening in my sleep to the baby monitor to see if they were aspirating in their sleep or if Cole’s apnea monitor would go off. I finally weaned myself off the monitor at the start of the year. Mostly because Paige’s voice is soooo loud now. So back to my story again (I’m tired, bear with me) they wake up crying and most of the time it’s not that they’re hungry…they just want to be held. We stopped feeding Paige in the middle of the night as of last Wednesday following Dr. E’s recommendation. She told us that we don’t need to feed the babies anymore, they should be capable at this age of sleeping 10 hrs straight. Sweet! We were supposed to feed her water for two weeks if she woke up crying, then let her cry it out after the two week period. First night was great. She slept the whole night. Second night, great…she woke up multiple times but we fed her water and she made it without eating. The third night I was so tired I brought her back to my bed so she’d stop crying. Last night Eric brought her into bed so she’d stop crying. I’m guessing tonight she’s going to cry until we bring her into bed. I hate that habit but if it means Mom and Dad getting a good night’s sleep, what are parents to do?
Cole is another story. They wake each other up all the time. I’ve heard of these miraculous siblings that sleep through each other’s crying. Yeah, right. Has never happened in our house. We are separating them today. I’m thrilled. I hope it works and they sleep better. It doesn’t seem fair to make Cole a bottle in the middle of the night then not feed Paige either. She’s smart enough to know what’s going on. So Cole has slept with us on several occasions too. Last night was one of them. Paige slept with Eric in the guest bedroom and I brought Cole into my bed after being up all night out of desperation. I knew it was wrong and I know the easy fix isn’t good for the long run. Tonight I’m going to suggest to Eric to let them cry it out. Even if it means we get no sleep. Something has to change. I’ve been getting migraines and I know it’s due to the sleeping situation.
Okay..my whining is over. Eric told me I could sleep in a hotel room tonight or go to one today during the day. Sweet offer, but I don’t think I could sleep being away (Eric here: But she won’t let me go to the hotel, oh sweet irony). I just want one good night at home in my own bed without worrying about smothering a baby.
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Tobie….Hooray for the 3rd trimester! I am soooooooo happy for you. Hey, I was SO excited when you hit 26 weeks…..that’s HUGE to us:)
Anyway, sorry about not getting any sleep. Would your mom spend the night tonight and watch the babies?
Aw, I’m sorry that sleep is so bad. I really wouldn’t worry about bring them into bed with you. Some babies just need more cuddles than others, especially preemies. My son sleeps snuggled in between us every night. I don’t think it is a bad habit. He will learn to sleep alone at some point, right now he is just being a baby! We tried to put my son in a crib and he just wasn’t having it. He would wake up every twenty mintues all night long. I really really wouldn’t worry about smothering them, they are definately old enough that if they are feeling smothered they will get themselves out. You can look up safe co-sleeping on Dr. Sears website. But we stopped worrying about that long ago. I am a light sleeper too, and whenver he stirs I wake (for about 10 seconds.) Usually if I just pull him over to me he will go right back to sleep.
Sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to hear at all, but I just wanted you to know that lots of people cosleep safely and get MORE sleep.
ps- I tried to post this the first time and it was all messed up. Sorry!
HOORAY for the 3rd trimester!! I always look forward to hearing the news on the pregancy.
Sorry to hear about the sleep issues. We don’t have the luxury of seperating them so they HAD to get used to hearing each other cry. Believe it or not, they actually did. Only twice did we bring a baby back to sleep with us. I refuse to do it (Bad mommy) because I like my sleep. I can sleep through anything. DH hears them cry before I do. I am glad to hear that Dr. E ( whom we will not see until ours turn 2) suggested water for Paige. We went that route too and it worked. For the last 4 months they have been sleeping from 8:00 at night to 7:00 in the morning!!! It will happen to you too.
Suzan
There’s NOTHING WRONG with bringing a child into your bed to save your sanity… although I understand that you’re not sleeping (even when this does happen) well because of your fears. But don’t beat yourself up over something as small as this!
This is the same route we took for our overnight transition… (sans the water). When they woke crying, we would comfort and put back to sleep. We would bring them into our bed on occasion. Eventually they did get to sleeping through the night. But it’s very rough, on everyone!
I’m glad you’re going to try the separating - it’s worth the try. (Wouldn’t work for us due to lack of room, but not as much a problem for us either.) And even though it seems so cruel to hear crying babes… and feelings between Mom and Dad rear up because of frustrations… eventually they do learn to soothe themselves and bedtime becomes easier. We’ve sat through the 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and even 60 minutes grinding our teeth… we’ve FINALLY gotten to the point (knock on wood) where the is little-to-no screaming; usually just talking/cooking/grunting for 3-30 minutes until they fall asleep. (10-15 in probably the norm)
Just remember, they’re fine.
They’re strong healthy babes.
And I strongly recommend turning up the music or tv so you DON’T hear the crying in the beginning!
P.S. Just when you think you’ve got it licked, know that it will change!
Tobie: Congrats on the third trimester, let us preemie parents know what it’s like! As for the sleep thing, I feel your pain. We had to let Cooper cry it out for a couple of weeks, and we instituted a STRICT bedtime routine. Now he goes down like clockwork for 12 hours. I know each kid is different, so try to find what work for your little ones, and maybe take Eric up on the hotel offer- you need your sleep!
Congratulations for making it to the third trimester!!! Yeah!
I’m sorry you are havng sleep issues- i’ve also heard that co-sleeping can be beneficial:)
Abbi
Hi Tobie (and Eric) lol. First of all, congrats on the 3rd semester. I am truly so happy for you. You must feel so relieved. I’m so sorry for all the lack of sleep. I could write the SAME EXACT post about the sleep and the teething and the zombie like state. The only thing different is I’m not pregnant. I felt like I was delirious the other day. It sucks when you just want to sleep. And I too was getting a migraine. We moms just have to hang in there and support one another. I hope the kids sleep well tonight. Hey, do what you have to do to get you some rest and to be SANE. Well at least 1/2 sane. And the photos are really cute.
Umm I meant trimester…….See, I’m tired too!
Congrats on the 3rd trimester, Tobie. And I’m sorry to hear about the awful teething. Hallie is going through her first bout of this right now, and so I totally know what you mean about being sleep-deprived…
Hey girl….Let them sleep with you. Lane sleeps with us now nightly and we all are getting some much needed sleep….Congrats on the 3rd trimester, your almost there. Hope all is well.
Shal
All five of us cram into one king size bed each night leaving three empty cribs just steps away. Sometimes Patrick sleeps at the foot of the bed because there’s no room at the top but by God we’re getting sleep!!! Not sure how or when we’ll break the habit but as long as I get to sleep in I don’t really care!
P.S.
CONGRATS on the 3rd trimester!!!
None of you ever feel like you are going to roll over on the baby(s) at night? Wow!
After a few nights, you really know where they are. It is a sense that moms have almost instictually, and my husband got it within a few nights. :o)
I have participated in a sleep study for a diagnosis (I have sleep apnea) and I have discovered how much I move in my sleep and with a little 4 lb preemie in my bed, I was terrified… it has only been twice that I’ve brought Presleigh to bed with me, only because I was delusional and could barely stand due to lack of sleep and she’d been up several hundred times in the night due to them pesky teeth.
I always believe that families have to do what works for them, not what a book says. If it works and you can cope and actually be human the next day, then go for it..if it works for the days/nights where you desperately need your sleep (which is most), then go for it.
And congrats on 3rd trimester!