I know this is a common problem with parents who have more than two children. How do you take care of all of them? When one baby is up sick….I can’t stay up with that sick child because I won’t be functional for the other two. If I’m breastfeeding Drew and Cole or Paige hurts themselves….do I starve my crying baby or rush to the aid of my other crying baby? I want to enroll Cole and Paige in different activities to broaden their minds and expose them to new fun things. All of the programs I’ve looked into require one parent per child. There is an indoor swim school by our house..can’t do it. There is a music program down the street that I’ve begged our girl J to do with our kids. We’re going to share the responsibility of wearing 18 lb little Drew in a snugli on our chests (read: that’s going to hurt the shoulders!) to accomplish this. I’m also enrolling Paige and Cole in a Tumbletots gym program one day a week which is something I’ve always dreamed of doing with my kids. This also requires a one-to-one ratio of caregiver to child. My parents are going to help me with this. I know it’s only going to get harder as they get older. Drew will have his all-state football game on the same night as Paige’s solo dance performance and Cole will have an out-of-state track meet. How will we manage then? I guess parents with multiples just choose, make compromises. Allow one kid or more of your kids to be disappointed. Give them a lollipop to ease the disappointment. I guess the way we operate now is conditioning for later on. If the babies have to wait to eat, or receive a hug, or get attention…it’s all part of the master plan.
On another note which leaves me so so so sad….I only have two weeks left of my girl J. I’m going to miss her beyond words. I’ve come to value her not as my aid, but as a friend. This is going to sound corny, but she completes me. We are a well oiled machine when it comes to taking care of the babies and the house. I don’t have to ask her to do things, she just knows what needs to be done and does it happily. She brings me Starbucks on my gloomy mornings…without even knowing what mood I’m in! She makes me laugh, is creative with the kids, and I think I’m going to miss her more than the babies. Drew is going to miss his noon baby massage. Paige and Cole are going to miss her chasing them around the house and her mac and cheese and her dancing hip-hop with them. I’m going to miss her reminding me to bring the strollers and diaper bags to appointments. I’m going to miss trying to beat our record at loading and unloading the kids from the car in the summer heat. I’m going to miss her pointing out hot guys on every outing as apparently I have my “married goggles” on. Good god….I’m crying writing this. I’m sad to see her go. I can’t believe just three months ago I was apprehensive about having her with us and now I’m sick at the thought of being without her. Weird what life throws at you. We will still see her once a week at the music class but it won’t be the same. We’ll be lonely and sad. :(
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I keep telling myself that we will have the most patient and impulse delaying kids out there since they have had to wait their turn since birth. They will also have learned to work well in a team - taking turns, etc. Now I didn’t say they would do this gracefully, but they will learn it and I’m hoping and praying it all comes out good when they are adults
I second Kristi. I have already had friends who’ve commented on how well behaved the girls are when we’re out (doesn’t feel that way to me, but I’ll definitely take the compliment!). And I often respond (if they don’t say it first) “well, that’s what happens when they learn that they have to wait for mommy.” Granted, we have had the 2 crying babes very often; or 2 babes crawling into mom’s lap for comfort while daddy’s sitting there wishing that one of them would go to him. I can’t imagine how much harder it is with a third… especially a third isn’t able to move to you himself via crawling or walking.
As for the 2nd part, I’m so sorry that you’ll be losing your ‘right hand man.’ While I KNOW that you’ll be able to handle it on your own, the comfort and security of having her there to help is probably going to be missed most of all.
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” ~Flavia
Good luck Tobie. Awesome help is hard to find. Especially someone who points out hot guys. LOL
I got nothing but hugs to send your way. I can’t relate to the juggling act, I think it’s hard enough with just Coop! I admire you having the stamina to keep up with 3 little ones.
Remember your NICU training. It taught limits. I can only do the best I can…No better.
I plan to do what I can. If they miss out on something I really want to do with them but can’t, I take solice in knowing that my heart was in the right place, but physical limitations (physical energy, money, time) prevented me. Hell, I haven’t cracked a Parenting book in the last year.
I feel I know you well enough to say that I know you’ll both (all) do fine. Good luck with the adjustment…call if you need more esoteric & vague advice!
A Hot Guy Spotter….r u sure you can’t convince her to stay? I wouldn’t let that go
Good luck, you’ll be fine.